woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
