He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
