70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize