Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
