i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize