My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize