Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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