do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
zippers are such a cool invention
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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