Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
