Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize