@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
