This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
