I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
