i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
