U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
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