I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
