Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
