at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
