Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
