why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
