Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
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