this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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