Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
