she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
