Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
