yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I smell stomach acid.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
