I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
