Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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