btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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