Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize