i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I didn't shave. On purpose
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
