addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
