went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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