I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
