I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
