We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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