hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize