can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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