You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
