first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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