question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Are my feet made of real feet?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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