im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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