weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
