I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
