I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
