I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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