Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
