just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Randomize
