i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
