but the lizard people decide everything anyway
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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