There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
