called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
