it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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