alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
