Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So much rum. So many feels.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
