at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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