Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
