And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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