I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
