DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
